Tuesday, May 31, 2005

getting better all the time

Well, it feels like the worst is over.
Some of it is environmental: the weather cleared up, Nell's future looks more secure, and I got to see actual forest over the weekend.
I got some old paperwork taken care of today, and went out for Thai food with friends in the neighborhood.

All of that stuff helps, and I'm glad of it.

I suspect part of it, though, is the simple passage of time. The intensity level of badness I felt over the past week and weekend can't be sustained for that long; like a sprain or the stomach flu, sooner or later it has to clear up on its own. I still feel a little unsteady, just the same as if I were recovering from an actual illness; after the flu, I wouldn't go out and eat pizza and drink til dawn. And after a hard-core case of the existential jumps, I've got to remember be a little gentle with myself. Eating regular meals, getting enough exercise, spending time with trusted friends - these are all post-nervous-collapse type activites that I've learned help keep me from falling back into the funk I've just gotten over. Please forgive me if this is too personal a topic for blogging, or is turning into The Adventures of Self-Absorbed Neurotic Woman (and her sidekick, Obvious Girl). But one of the big reasons I started blogging in the first place is to leave a record of the ups and downs of living alone, so I can go back and re-read about the peaks from the valleys, and vice versa. A reminder that none of it lasts forever, and hopefully a guidebook for getting through the next time.

Thanks for bearing with me; I'll try to get back to arboretum pictures and pirate jokes soon.