Saturday, June 25, 2005

this pause has the shape of your name

Looking back over my blog entries of the past couple of weeks, I realized that they're pretty darn boring. "The weather is great; I'm having fun." "The weather is great; I'm having fun." The weather is great..." And it's all true: the weather has been great, and I have been having more fun lately. But it doesn't make for very interesting reading. And more importantly, it doesn't reflect the whole truth of what's been going on around here.

Part of it has to do with the nature of the blog format: anyone can read it. That's the whole beauty of the blog. I've had readers from Iceland, Australia, and West Africa, and it's thrilling (in a completely dorky way) to think that strangers from across the globe can glimpse snapshots of my life and thoughts as easily as I can peek at their own. It's a lot of fun, but it means that the most personal stuff (synonymous with "the most important stuff") tends to get left out.

Another part of it is the fact that the most interesting bits of my life (and probably most people's) are relational, not internal. The sensitive nature of friendship, love, and loss prohibits me from writing too much about it, as does the care that I try to take not to publicize other people's lives along with my own.

If you've been following the blog for any amount of time, it may be possible to read between the lines and trace the low points, the high points, and the slow mending of a badly bruised heart. Or maybe not. The past season has seen two relationships fade and metamorphosize into pale, weakly versions of their former selves, the growing obviousness of a family member's major health problem, and countless joys and agonies shared with my clients at work, who make up the bulk of my human connections. But something in me balks at publishing this stuff outright, and what's left tends to be a little banal.

Anyway. I'm looking out my window as I write this now, and it looks like the weather's gonna be great. And I'm gonna try to have fun. Stay tuned for the full report. . .

4 Comments:

Blogger ECS said...

Hi- I'm your Iceland reader here... thought I'd leave a comment to introduce myself. I'm a former Boston resident living in Reykjavik so I stop by to get a hit of the city every now and then.

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